The Power of Listening

Thu, April 14, 2011 (8 years ago)

I met with a friend the other day, someone who had asked me for NVC support, as he wanted counselling with his wife.

I met with a friend the other day, someone who had asked me for NVC support, as he wanted counseling with his wife. He ended up joining my practice group for a few weeks and then attended our International Convention in Pondy. At first, he felt a little apprehensive about NVC, but after the Convention was convinced by its power and has started to see how NVC could be integrated into every aspect of his life. Cool!

So, the other day he told me this story. His parents had called him in a fit of desperation. His older married brother was drunk and had physically abused his wife and broken the family TV and computer. They’re all used to this pattern, and they all hate it. However, for the first time, my friend thought to himself, “Oh, maybe I can call him up and just listen, instead of telling him how bad I think he is, which is what I’ve been doing for years.” Wow, he said that he just guessed for feelings and needs, and that by the end of it, his brother was sharing his feelings and needs, and better yet – his brother was sharing his own mournings! He said he hated being like this, but that his job was so unsatisfying and that when he comes home, he just wants connection with the family. When he can’t get this, he ends up drinking and getting angry and violent. My friend said he just felt so much compassion and softness for his brother, that for the first time he saw him as a human being, with feelings and challenges. And he said that his brother had never shared this way with him…

Wow, NVC…! 🙂 Rocks!


Some Inspiration...

"In dealing with the criminal, the most advanced societies are no longer altogether satisfied with regarding him as a law-breaker to be punished, imprisoned, terrified, hanged or else tortured physically and morally, whether as a revenge for his revolt or as an example to others; there is a growing attempt to understand him, to make allowance for his heredity, environment and inner deficiencies and to change him from within rather than crush him from without."
~ Sri Aurobindo